Persuasion tactics can play a valuable role in negotiation, helping us overcome not only the other side’s reasonable objections to a mutually beneficial agreement but also their defensiveness, lack of trust, and incompetence as well, write Max Bazerman in their book Negotiation Genius. Yet a counterpart’s persuasion tactics can also lead us to act against our best interests. Here, we describe a few common forms of persuasion in negotiation and offer advice on how to defend against them.
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The Norm of Reciprocity
As human beings, we feel a compulsion to respond to people’s behavior in kind. Due to this norm of reciprocity, if a nonprofit sends you a “free gift,” such as a pen or some stickers, for example, you’ll be more likely to respond with a donation than if you got only a letter in the mail requesting a donation. Similarly, in negotiation, we often feel obliged to reciprocate concessions—even minor ones, such as offering to pay for a meal.
The compulsion to reciprocate is “overpowering,” writes Robert B. Cialdini in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. We might conclude, then, that the best defense against reciprocation is to categorically reject free favors.
But consider the story Cialdini tells in Influence of a 10-year-old girl who was assigned to pass out flowers to grandparents attending an open house at her school. The first man she approached growled, “Keep it,” when she extended a flower. When she tried again, he demanded to know what she expected in return. “Nothing. It’s a gift,” she replied. “He fixed her with a disbelieving glare, insisting that he recognized ‘her game,’ and brushed on past,” writes Cialdini. The girl was too upset by the experience to continue her duties. As the sad anecdote illustrates, when you reject a gift from someone who wants nothing in return, you risk causing offense and even upsetting them, notes Cialdini.
What’s a better defensive tactic? If someone offers you a kindness, accept it graciously, and perhaps resolve to do them a kindness at some future date. But if they immediately ask for a burdensome “favor” in return, recognize the presumed kindness as a persuasion tactic and remember that you are under no obligation to return it. After all, writes Cialdini, the norm of reciprocity “says that favors are to be met with favors; it does not require the tricks be met with favors.”
Vivid Scare Tactics
When you’re buying a car, the salesperson will spend a lot of time touting the car’s reliability and performance. But when it comes time for them to sell you an extended warranty on that same car, they may suddenly portray it as prone to breakdowns, Bazerman has noted. Why?
People have a stronger motivation to avoid losses than they do to accumulate gains, Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman found in their groundbreaking research on loss aversion. Even when a gain and loss are of equal magnitude, we will try harder to avoid the loss than to get the gain. In one study, University of Santa Cruz researchers found that homeowners were significantly more likely to invest in home-insulation products if they were told they would lose a certain amount of money per day if they didn’t insulate than if they were told they would gain the same amount if they did insulate.
Thus, car dealers have learned that it’s easier to sell an extended warranty by highlighting a potential loss than by touting the peace of mind you might gain from buying the warranty. But as wise buyers realize, extended warranties are mostly dealer profit.
When a negotiator is trying to scare you with the prospect of an expensive loss, take note. Away from the negotiating table, gather objective information about the risk they are highlighting. You may find out there’s actually nothing to be afraid of.
Scarcity-Related Persuasion Tactics
“While supplies last” and “available for a limited time only” are two tried-and-true advertising taglines. Why do they persist? Because they give the impression—often, an illusion—that a product or service is scarce. And as Cialdini documents in Influence, scarcity is a powerful persuasion tactic. “Opportunities seem more valuable to us when they are less available,” he writes. Remember how desperate everyone was to snatch up toilet paper at the start of the Covid-19 pandemic?
Scarcity is among the most powerful persuasion tactics in part because it preys on our fear of losing our free will, writes Cialdini. When our free will is limited, we feel compelled to do what we can to protect that freedom, even if that just means grabbing the last pair of jeans in our size.
It can be difficult to defend against scarcity tactics, which can include false deadlines and time pressure, because our emotional reactions cloud our more rational judgment. Cialdini advises “using the rising tide of arousal as a signal to calm ourselves and proceed with care.” Then, remind yourself that, in his words, “the joy is not in the experiencing of a scarce commodity but in the possessing of it.” Before bidding on a scarce item, ask yourself if you truly would enjoy it or if you simply want to own it.
What other defensive moves have you used successfully against persuasion tactics?
Claim your FREE copy: Negotiation Skills
Build powerful negotiation skills and become a better dealmaker and leader. Download our FREE special report, Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Strategies and Negotiation Techniques to Help You Become a Better Negotiator, from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.
