Gender differences in negotiation are much smaller than our stereotypes would lead us to believe. In new studies, researchers explore our faulty assumptions about sexual orientation, gender, and negotiation, and offer strategies for reaching more informed, less biased conclusions.
How Stereotypes about Sexual Orientation Affect Negotiating Behavior
According to age-old (and often-debunked) gender stereotypes, men tend to be assertive and competitive, while women are more passive and cooperative. In the context of gender and negotiation, these assumptions lead people to expect men to be more formidable negotiating counterparts than women. Consequently, negotiators offer more concessions to male negotiators than to female negotiators, which leads women to have worse negotiation outcomes than men, research has found. In addition, women who negotiate assertively often face a backlash for violating traditional gender norms.
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In a 2023 study on gender and negotiation, Sreedhari D. Desai of the University of North Carolina and Brian C. Gunia of Johns Hopkins University found that these stereotypes about gender differences in negotiation are based on the assumption of a male or female negotiating counterpart who is heterosexual. Yet at least nine million U.S. adults publicly identify as homosexual, so that assumption will be wrong at least some of the time. Do people’s stereotypes and behaviors around gender and negotiation shift when negotiating with someone they perceive to be homosexual?
Desai and Gunia sought to answer that question. And across a range of studies conducted in the United States and India, they found that, indeed, people formed different stereotypes about the negotiating behavior of negotiators they presumed to be gay, based on various cues (such as belonging to a Gay and Lesbian Alliance or having a Pride flag in the background of a profile photo).
Specifically, across the studies, participants expected gay women to be more dominant negotiators than straight women and gay men; consequently, the participants made better offers to gay women than to straight women and gay men. Participants also expected gay men to be more passive negotiators than straight men and consequently made worse offers to gay men. The study results suggest that gay men may face a similar negotiation disadvantage as straight women, and that lesbian women may accrue a bargaining advantage—at least if their sexual orientation is known.
Overall, the findings reveal previously unknown and troubling ways in which our stereotypes lead us astray in negotiation. Desai and Gunia conclude that “negotiation training should really target problematic stereotypes about dominance by group rather than providing particular negotiation skills/training for men or women.”
We all need to interrogate the snap judgments and assumptions we reach about our negotiating counterparts and try to overcome sexual orientation and gender bias in negotiation. The more we view our negotiating partners as unique individuals, the fairer, more accurate, and more collaborative our negotiations will be.
Defusing Men’s Anxiety through Self-Affirmation
As noted above, women often face a backlash for negotiating assertively, in part for violating traditional gender norms. Research shows that both men and women penalize women who ask for more in negotiation. But with men dominating leadership positions in many organizations, men in particular may perceive the potential advancement of women as a threat to their status.
Indeed, in a 2024 study on gender and leadership, researchers Chiara Trombini of Italy’s Luiss Business School, Modupe Akinola of Columbia Business School, and Hannah Riley Bowles of the Harvard Kennedy School found that men tended to feel anxious when faced with women engaging in assertive behaviors, such as trying to negotiate a job offer. As a result of their anxiety, men were less willing to work with these women and collaborated with them less.
Drawing on past research, Trombini and colleagues predicted that men who had an opportunity to engage in self-affirmation would be able to overcome their anxiety and treat would-be women leaders more fairly. The researchers asked some of their participants to reflect on and write about values that are important to them, such as relationships with friends and family or a sense of humor. All the participants then were asked to imagine that they were evaluating a highly qualified internal candidate for a job based on a videotaped interview.
The results showed that men who had a chance to self-affirm their values before evaluating a female candidate were more willing to work with her than were men who were not given the opportunity to self-affirm. (Women participants, by contrast, were equally willing to work with a male or female candidate whether or not they had engaged in the self-affirmation exercise.)
In another experiment, the team found that women’s displays of dominance made men anxious but that a self-affirmation exercise alleviated the men’s anxiety and made them more accepting of assertive women. Based on their results, the research team concludes that “by using self-affirmation as a brief and low-cost intervention, it may be possible to improve men’s collaboration with women exhibiting dominance behaviors, and more broadly to improve diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives by focusing on targeting men’s anxiety.”
What efforts have you taken in your organization to defuse inaccurate stereotypes about gender and negotiation?
Claim your FREE copy: Negotiation Skills
Build powerful negotiation skills and become a better dealmaker and leader. Download our FREE special report, Negotiation Skills: Negotiation Strategies and Negotiation Techniques to Help You Become a Better Negotiator, from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.
